In week two, we read chapters four and five of Johann Hari’s book Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention – and How to Think Deeply Again. In these chapters, Hari covers “The Collapse of Sustained Reading” and “The Disruption of Mind-Wandering.”

My professor also had students fill out a time management workbook, specifically telling us to think about our habits and really take a close look at what we want to accomplish. This was an eye-opener for me, filling out the workbook shows that I really have no sense of how much time certain tasks take and has showed how much time I’ve been spending on tasks that mean less to me than others. I am also able to fill in the gaps of where my missing time has gone.

In the workbook, the first exercise was to figure out where my priorities lie. My #1 priority, turns out, is connection. But to think deeply on this, connection with myself. I have had depression since highschool, and recently saw a this post pop up in my Instagram feed.

It made me realize that what I’ve been yearning for is deep connection, deep thinking (thank you Johann Hari), about myself and the things I want to experience and accomplish. This ended up leading to a whole slew of things I’ve reposted on my poetry Instagram account for self-awareness and care.

Here’s just one more I need to share, because self-care isn’t pretty or aesthetically pleasing (although the innfluencers will deceive you!).

I have begun work to delve deeper into my own mind, finding a yoga practice to ground me to my body, and a meditation practice for a chance to mind-wander to see where I can explore. Forest bathing and hiking have connected me to nature and new friends – another key aspect I felt was missinng in my life. Being outdoors also brought me to a new hobby: foraging and identifying wild plants. I think next spring I will try painting the ones I can identify, or at least take photos of them.

Inorder to feel an inherent sense of belonging I must first return to myself. Figuring out who I am, what I like doing, who I like being around, and just feeling a sense of ease.